Invitation Juggler T-Shirts

'I could swear the invitation said '7 am'.'

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

'To cut back on traveling expenses, we're going to start sending you out as an e-mail attachment.'

Brickie's Mate

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

Spam in inbox.

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

Santa's Party Trick - mishap with decoration juggling.

The Communicator

Overworked

"Hi Mom...do you remember in which grade I was given an award for my excellent performance of the song about little ducks?"

Hopkin's for Clinic the Dyslexic

The Emeril Isle

"Maybe if your creativity had fewer outlets, it would come out of you with more force."

Man in Office playing golf, filing cabinet draw marked 'Rough'

'He said he knows the letters but he doesn't know the words.'

Choose any combination of the words above to name your brilliant first novel.

"We'll have to pick this up later. My plane just went down, sharks ate my personal assistant, and apparently I'm winning some kind of surfing competition."

The Basic Blueprint for 99% of Today's Conversations (or So it Seems)

'Call me back - the old trout's on the other line.'

'You'll be hearing from us! Hello?'

"Bad case of 'Swivel Neck' comes from trying to watch too many games at the same time!"

'God, I hate Sunday mornings.'

A writer writing humour and tragedy at the same time.

Sorry, sir, but today is Tuesday, and I never did get the hang of Tuesdays.

"You ought to do what I do—have a few belts before you meet with the old man."

Woman holding two phones together.

"Ho ordered the Cafe au Lait?"

'Good morning, This is receptionist Susan, portal to the boss.'

Multitasking.

"Gotta go."

'What? Paint roses - with my back?'

I think you put it off long enough.

Anyone around here answer to the name of 'Sheep-for-brains'?