Invisible Ink Decoder Pillows

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

Paw readings

'People who can read Venn diagrams...'

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

'I know what you're thinking.'

"I dreamed last night that I was furious at you for charging me for missing last week's session. What do you think it means?"

"I hope this makes it clearer!"

'Roughly translated it says 'Can't remember the code to get into your pyramid? Call Pharaoh Locksmithing.'

'It says I can't access Pharaoh's tablet unless I'm on his buddies list.'

'It says he put the 'Ram' in the 'Rama Lama Ding Dong'.'

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

"Leave the lights burning when you go home. Pass it on."

'I hate it when they use invisible line.'

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

Ancient Egyptian Curser

Siggy

"I had the strangest dream. I was suddenly in a room full of people, and I didn't have a stitch on."

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

"A pharaoh who lived by the Nile...And was eaten by an old crocodile."

"I believe it translates to... have a nice day."

Russian Missiles Incognito

'I've never seen this symbol before. What could it mean?'

"So what's the emoji for 'low-hanging fruit?'"

'I got rid of those funny little spots in front of my eyes. Now what's bugging me is a buzzing noise in my ears, like somebody sawing logs.'

"I just had a communications nightmare! I dreamt that the postal workers were on strike, the internet was down and someone had eaten the carrier pigeons!"

An archaeologist sees an ancient Egyptian entrance to a subway.

Marooned Optometrist

'We're all pretty much in agreement that this is what your doctor scribbled as your prescription.'

"I know we have some invisible ink somewhere but we can never find it..."