Investor Awareness Advocate T-Shirts

'To be honest I generally only deal with clients by phone or email.'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Profit

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

Wall Street Couch

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Day trading.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

Men on escalators reading newspapers, shares are going up on the up escalator and down on the down escalator.

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

"I'm in securities." "I'm in insecurities."

wealth investment

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'