Investment Savvy Kid Pillows

"But I wanted the tooth fairy to leave me generational wealth in a tax-sheltered vehicle!"

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"I don't have time for piggy banks. Can't I just buy an ATM?"

'That's my boy...'

'He's precocious.'

'I know about the birds and the bees. Can you tell me about making a bundle trading derivatives?'

"No, Dad. All this belongs to me right now. I acquired it in a hostile takeover."

'I hardly expected the federal tapering affect my allowance.'

'A 7 load? Do you think I was born yesterday? Oh, wait, I was.'

"Hello, Sally? I've decided not to go to the concert. . . my father said I'd have to use my own money!"

'Is my allowance an unfunded liability?'

'I hope this reform really hurts!!'

"How do you make any money?"

Investment Firm's sign, 'No guts, no glory'.

You did a hostile takeover of the corner lemonade stand? Why not? It's operated by Timmy. He's seven. He's a big boy. By seven, I had three ice cream carts. Besides, I made his investors an offer they couldn't refuse. We'll split the six free espressos. Waaaaah!

'I quit the ice cream stand last year. Now I'm double dipping.'

"This article says that a good investment consultant can smell money like a dog smells fear..."

Prices displayed for a book and its movie rights.

'Dad, I've decided to make some money to supplement my allowance.' 'Good for you. Got a little mowing job?' 'Nope. A tip jar. And oh by the way, 15 to 20 percent is customary.'

A fool and his money is soon someone's business partner

"Money from the Tooth Fairy, eh? Don't forget to declare capital gains!"

'When you e-mailed that you wanted to invest your entire life savings, we thought you'd be older.'

'Dad, I need to talk to you about my investment portfolio.'

"My school day was mixed. Big gains in history class, English was flat, math declined by a quarter-grade, and I took a pounding at recess."

'I can tell when we're in a recession - my allowance gets cut.'

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

How To Monetize Other Kids' Science Projects

Lemonade and Free Credit Report Stand