Investment Gamer T-Shirts

Stockmarket Sweep.

'Are you looking for something in light blue, or dark blue, chips?'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

In the Guru District

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

Mario Draghi

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Build Your Own Portfolio

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

Guy has framed 'first Yuan'

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Wall Street Couch

Day trading.

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'