Investment Game Player T-Shirts

'Before you get into the market, Mr. Root, we need to test your pain threshold!'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Wall Street Couch

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Day trading.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

Men on escalators reading newspapers, shares are going up on the up escalator and down on the down escalator.

wealth investment

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

"Every time dad checks the stock market, he does that weird thing with his mouth."