Inventive Patient Pillows

Patient with a drip on a micro scooter.

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

"You're just gaming down there? Shouldn't you be issuing your first IPO for some billion dollar internet enterprise you've created?"

'Harvey does all his own 'get well' cards.'

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

"We think your telephone is a great invention, Mr Bell, but is a bit basic. How about adding a phonograph to it?"

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

"Well, I thought I'd give fencing a try, but I sucked at it."

'I was cleaning my catapult and it went off.'

If they can put a man on the moon, why can't they... market a roll of tape that's easy to start every time?!

Benjamin Franklin.

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

'I know it doesn't look like much, but have you ever been shot in the face with a p****d off cat?'

Pyramid Skiers

"I think your problem is heartbeat-from-mouth syndrome."

"Using a female in hear helps to round up stray dogs!"

'Not bad idea! But no quit day job.'

'Please be quiet while the attempts to locate your head.'

'Melissa tried to make a word processor by putting the dictionary in the blender - so now we're off to buy a laptop!'

I can never remember which colour is 'live'. - 'I wish there was a simple way to tell.' - 'Lick it! Lick it! Lick it!' - 'I wish there was a safe simple way to tell.' - 'Lick it gingerly.' -

'Find yellow snow? I invented it.'

"Nice igloo, but why isn't it melting?!"

"Dad, you never have to say 'take out the trash' again!"

"Hold it Michaelangelo, I've just had a brilliant idea!"

'-and who's next?'

British Patent (applied for) The Outflanking Machine for Turning Movements

"...The sun sank slowly in the west. Time slowed down to a crawl, and there was no reason to hurry. The tortoise knew he had time to kill. Haste makes waste, he thought..."

"How's that whole 'thinking outside of the bowl' thing working out for you now?"

Chess players covered in cobwebs