Introverted Professional Pillows

"I'm at the office party."

"Too crowded. Let's go."

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

Nerd tryouts.

Self-Isolating. Do Not Disturb (Except For Food).

It's not considered drinking alone if the cat is at home.

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

She required plenty of personal space.

'How come we never get invited to 'come as you are' parties?'

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

'A quick pint or a quiet drink?'

'Mind if I join you?'

Brown Non-Recluse Spider

'You can social network me behind my ears if you like.'

Honestly, I don't know why I even bring Harold to parties.

'Before you go, introduce yourself, so that I know who you were...'

Big Talk/Small Talk.

"It's from the Hendersons. They want us to come over this weekend."

"The joy of the house to myself"

"Who's my perfect little excuse to leave social functions? You are, yes you are."

Introverted Chair

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

"I work from home because I can’t stand the sight of idiots." "Is that why you got rid of all our mirrors?"

'You cant do anything these days without someone suspecting your motives. . . there is only one way out. . . inaction.'

"I've replaced all the workers with machines, but now I crave human interaction!"

'You ought to get out more according to experts.'

"I don't want to go back to school; other people are my kryptonite."

"Are you still mad at me?" "Mentally I'm storming off right now."

The reserved and the go-ers.'

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

"This isn't working out - I'm an earthworm and you're a....are you even listening to me?"

'I've decided to replace all human interaction with personal electronics.'