Introvert Gifts

"I told everyone we're hibernating. Whatever you do, don't answer the phone."

"You need help, Norman."

"I'd love to, but I have a million lonely ritualistic things I need to do."

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

'My god, this is it... I'm finally getting my fifteen minutes of privacy.'

'NOT INTERESTED? You answered the door didn't you?'

"Are you still mad at me?" "Mentally I'm storming off right now."

"I hope this is the right wine for reading and ignoring one another."

'Mind if I join you?'

"He's not self isolating, he's just a miserable bastard."

Clancy: All the world's a stage....

Stay back 500 feet

Me, myself and I.

"As a single diner, you will be seated at an awkward table by the restrooms where your lonely presence won't bother other diners."

"Sorry, I can't make it tonight - I have too good a parking sport."

"You have to let other people into your life."

Big Talk/Small Talk.

Two Englishmen breakfasting abroad, not speaking to one another

'I'm just not sure he fits in.'

A shy parish cleric seeking to talk business with a lady

"Tell him I'm not in."

"Oh Hi, I didn't recognize you without your cell phone."

'Do you have a non-cellphone section? I don't want to be bothered by secondhand cellphone conversations.'

'He has a doctorate in worrying.'

'You'll have to excuse Gerald. He's not so much the party animal these days.'

The reserved and the go-ers.'

Unsocial Media

"I had to close all my social media accounts. They were making me anti-social."

Elevators offer choice of conversation or conversation-free.

'I don't feel like talking.'

'Come and see for yourself,Doris-they're out!'

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

'How come we never get invited to 'come as you are' parties?'

"You unfriended them all - remember?"