Introduction Of A New Partner Pillows

"This is the boy I was telling you about, Daddy...meet Raymond!"

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

'Daddy, you and Bobby will have lots to talk about...he's a professional sniper, too.'

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

'Actually thursday'll be a perfect time to come by Penny. That way you'll finally get the chance to meet my other half.'

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"It's amazing. We've just met, but I feel like we've known each other since we were kids, became high school sweethearts, got married too young, had a bunch of brats, went through a messy divorce, reconciled, remarried each other, and are now back together after all these years."

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

"Me, I became an outdoor cat when her new boyfriend moved in: he smokes in the house..."

'I'm not sure I want to see you again, but just in case, I've backed you up on a flash drive.'

"I'll go out with you, as long as we don't have to go IN anywhere."

Home Business - Business Cards.

"Mother, I'd like you to meet a member of the armed forces."

'Mummy, Daddy, this is Wayne. Wayne once sat in a bath full of jelly for 24 hours.'

'A limited partnership? It means you can't sue or skim.'

"It's not you, Glen—it's your ex-wife. She's behind me, isn't she?"

Mum, Dad, I've met something...

'It will never work. She's touchy-feely, and he is just touchy.'

"I've found someone else who thinks I'm really attractive."

"We met online."

"We met over the holidays."

"I brought Tom home to my parents and left him there."

'Actually I'm looking for a less meaningful relationship. I didn't understand the last one!'

I'm so desperate, I'd go out with anyone that moves...maybe that's a problem...I'm being too selective.

"Meet my extended family."

"Congratulations. I just need your initials here."

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

"No, I don't think we need counseling. This is our first date."

"Think about it, we're both very clever: If we team up, we'll be unstoppable!"

'You CAN change a man, but then they divorce you, remarry and the new wife reaps all the benefits.'

"Chips?! Oh yes, in the old days, we used to have chips almost weekly, but then, his girlfriend moved in."

"Sometimes I get the feeling your 'ex' is still in the picture."