Intolerance Warrior Pillows

'Allergy Cafe - All you can Tolerate.'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

The Cougher

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

"Please, James...will you stop worrying whether the baby will meet all government regulations!"

Allergy Information: May contain traces of nuts, soya, child bones.

Trees: The most effective way to reduce emissions.

"I wish you would actually sell one of these novels...all these returned manuscripts are giving me backaches!"

Big slipper.

"I can't have anything that's a food."

"Welcome to the brave new corporate gulag, Hank. The dissenting wheel always gets the shrink!"

Doctor's house visit "What's made him worse since I phoned Doctor was worrying about the cost of a house call"

OH NO - Here come the wet-wipes..!!!

"How many more times, you've got hayfever, so no, you can't have any cannabis oil."

Clean air.

NO GIRLS ALLOWED!, 'Don't get all bent out of shape -- that's the boys' restroom.'

Protecting Nature

'I'll say one thing about your manuscript, Mr.Jackson - it's very shreddable.'

'He's a true athlete... tennis elbow, jogger's feet, and skier's knees.'

The Inverted Nose: Genetic engineering's answer to the sniffles.

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

'It's from the New Yorker, I've been rejected 200 times, once for each word.'

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

"Hello, police? I'd like to report a suspicious black man!"

Grim Reaper walks through an urban environment wearing a gas mask.

'So we meet again...'

'How long have you been submitting novels, Grandad?'

" I can't pay you, but your work will get plenty of exposure."

"Harry... Looking good buddy!"

'If that's true, if you've really done it, I can say unequivocally, that is indeed...Nothing to sneeze at!'

"The gluten's back. And it's pissed."

'These guys are going to take us kicking and screaming to hell with them!'