Intimate Conversations Pillows

"...and those are my deepest, most intimate feelings about our friendship."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"How about a hand."

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Dialogue

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

"I'm thinking 'woof-woof' but I'm saying 'arf-arf'."

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"Of course, that's just my opinion. If you want my professional opinion it will cost you."

'The trouble with Nigel is that he's so changeable. One minute I love him and the next minute I loathe him.'

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

'Did you get through to the speaking clock, Dear?' 'Tick and tock and tick and tock and tick...'

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

A lesson in wit

"I'm on Twitter and I get the feeling I'm not being followed."

Existentialists In Love

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"

"Oh, that reminds me of this article I barely remember."

"I know I keep coming back to your obsession with styrofoam peanuts, but there's a lot to unpack there."

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

"Sometimes I get a craving for sushi."

"The question, Leon, is: What is man?"

"I find it a very good conversation starter."

'Sorry, what was that?'

"Dad, where did I come from? The stork?"