Intimate Conversations Enthusiast T-Shirts

To their complete revulsion, Dan and his friends overhear too much information from Dan's mother.

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"Could I ask just one question?"

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

"...and those are my deepest, most intimate feelings about our friendship."

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

"Arouse Me!"

Attention Span Man

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

Big Talk/Small Talk.

'I can lash out at you, unlike with other girls.'

'What do you mean I've wolfed that down? You've never stopped nattering!'

Bar Therapy

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

'Did you get through to the speaking clock, Dear?' 'Tick and tock and tick and tock and tick...'

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"

"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."

Existentialists In Love

Man sleeps instead of reading 'The Art of Listening.'

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

"Do you believe in love at first orgasm?"

'Miss Kress, who on our staff is in charge of denials and uncomfortable realities.'

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

After talking one stranger to death, Velma starts in on the next.