Intimacy Advisor Mugs

Erections Have Consequences.

Sauvignon Bonk

Try Mediation

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Window Treatment

Couple cuddle under a sprinkler with an umbrella as an excuse to be close

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"My computer just texted me."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

Hollywood Breakup

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"Dr. Stolner says it might be nice if I let you see my dark side."

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

Kiss

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

An evening with Stanley Bucholtz, relationship MD,,,tonight: 'Just ONE evening,,,'

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

'Edwards... Tamano... this isn't what I had in mind when I sent you two out on the company retreat.'

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

"Arouse Me!"

Complaints departement for men and women.

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

"I used to know my wife's fondest dreams and desires, but now I leave that to Google."

Global Positioning Manual

"Amazing, eh? Good-looking, dependable, trustworthy, inflatable."

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"