Interviewing Strategists Pillows

'I was successful in meeting expectations by lowering them during the job interview.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Smith, we need more creativity. You have to learn to think outside the box.'

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"Any questions?"

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

Empty box of ideas

Eureka!

"We have an acronym!"

Bright idea

"#Win!"

'I want you to paddle against the current.'

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"Is it just a scary coincidence that the words 'changes' and 'unknown' both have 7 letters?"

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

'Do you want to tell them their department is being downsized again, or should I?'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

Our Two Parties, Explained

'Our job will be to drag the competition down to our level.'

Thinking outside of the box