Interviewer Whisperer T-Shirts

'Thank you for your time, Sir, and I must disagree with the other finalists, I don't find you a pompous bore at all.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

Quiz Night...

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Computer help.

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

"On Monday, they will introduce a new office layout and you'll be near Judy, who isn't good at sharing her charger. . ."

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

"I'm in here, rereading the great poets, myself among them."

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

"Where do you see yourself in five moves?"

'...if he only knew what I wrote about him on my blog.'

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

'I want all of you to pay attention as though your job depended upon it.'

'I've decided to spread the blame...unevenly of course.'

"For gosh sakes, Mike! Will you please quit interrupting me while I eavesdrop on Mary's gossipy remarks to Bill during Jean's important presentation?"

'I've started an Employee Recognition Program. I know who you are.'

'They say the secret to public speaking is to pick out one person in the audience and talk to him.' 'Well, did you?' 'Yeah. Unfortunately the person I picked out was snickering, pointing and whispering to the guy next to him.'

"He shows enormous potential."

'It has been brought to my attention that some of us are not working at maximum efficiency.'

Assorted Smiles, Show Business Awards.

Soft Speaker, Loud Speaker, Deafening Speaker

Sad looking computer with plasters and a black eye

'Good morning, This is receptionist Susan, portal to the boss.'

"How's the computer analysis going?"

'If I need emergency assistance with this program, do I type 911?'

"I'm from the Duvall Executive Search Agency, and I leave no stone unturned."

'So, I see you're a good listener.'

"Mum, you've put it on mute with sub-titles!"

'She used a scroggy piraya to flench her jargonel.'

"I have a real love/hate relationship with email."