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Quiz Night...

'They're talking philosophy again, like do fish drink?'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

Fixing the Computer.

Man and Machine snoozing

Computer help.

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

"Where do you see yourself in five moves?"

Cellular Plan

Where history's best ideas happen.

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

'I want all of you to pay attention as though your job depended upon it.'

"Keep your shirt on. I'll read your book as soon as I'm done reading the monster his book."

'I've decided to spread the blame...unevenly of course.'

"I keep getting the feeling I’m being watched."

Factory foreman says: 'Sometimes the machines here do try to take over the world. Last week the coffee maker even had a go.'

"What setting do I use for this?"

Sad looking computer with plasters and a black eye

"How's the computer analysis going?"

'If I need emergency assistance with this program, do I type 911?'

'I and my Blog'

"I'm from the Duvall Executive Search Agency, and I leave no stone unturned."