Interview Whisperer Pillows

"Where do you see yourself in five moves?"

"I'm from the Duvall Executive Search Agency, and I leave no stone unturned."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Quiz Night...

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

Computer help.

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

"Matt, you look like you just saw a ghost who fired you!"

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

"I'm in here, rereading the great poets, myself among them."

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

"On Monday, they will introduce a new office layout and you'll be near Judy, who isn't good at sharing her charger. . ."

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

Computer whisperer.

"The biggest downside of funding IT startups... is being called 'dude'!"

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

WWW.World.com

'...if he only knew what I wrote about him on my blog.'

The fax machine had stopped and they did not know why.

You will do as I command...'It had a power surge.'

"Sorry, honey, I can't talk now. I'm in the midst of some very intense negotiations with Bill Gates on the electronic rights to you and the kids."

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

'Sometimes, when I'm feeling unappreciated, I'll fake a system-wide data crash.'

'I want all of you to pay attention as though your job depended upon it.'

"For gosh sakes, Mike! Will you please quit interrupting me while I eavesdrop on Mary's gossipy remarks to Bill during Jean's important presentation?"

'I've decided to spread the blame...unevenly of course.'