Interview Virtuoso Pillows

"I see you went to my safety school."

"I take it we didn't give you enough time to prepare for this interview."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"It's a play on words."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

Busking during a pandemic

"5...4...3...2..."

Like many kids, Bobby had an imaginary friend. Unfortunately for Bobby, he was a critic.

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

"This one's for volunteering for field trips. This one's for planning the class holiday parties. . ."

Sign on Roget's Thesaurus, Inc.: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"Of course, that's only a first draft."

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

'The chechako sparged rhamnose into his yerba.'

When English majors become waiters.

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

'Once a donzel, the dyvour now settled for orts.'

'They decided to immure the ladrone in a drogue.'

Remote work

Roget's Brontosaurus.