Interview Prep Pro Prints

'You're smart enough for the job, but your phone isn't.'

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

"I'll put your application on file, Mr. Brandt, but I'm quite happy with my current paperweight."

'You have to STUDY for tests, dummy -- you can't just put a memory stick in your ear!'

'Make up your mind, pal - there are plenty of other fish who'd give their gills for this job.'

"Have a seat with the other candidates for the tech position but be wary of the spit balls."

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"These are excellent qualifications... so good that our largest competitor would gladly pay you twice as much."

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

"And do you have any OTHER skills you can bring to the post apart from being able to burp the Beatles greatest hits?"

'We need someone bright, someone quick to take notice.'

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

"And just how long have you been, 5' 10"?"

'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'

"You're the type who'll make me prove every claim I make."

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

"Very nice résumé. Leave a sample of your DNA with my secretary."

"I can handle a wide variety of work. In fact I've had ten different jobs in four months."

"Job interview!"

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt. Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

"References? Well, I just got six references from the guys in your waiting room."

A candidate makes their greatest impact on an interviewer in the first few minutes...