Interview Insights Explorer Mugs

'I forgot to ask her employment history -- I got bogged won in 'distinguishing personal characteristics.''

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

Day trading.

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

Do you have any other skills?

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

"That's nice, but do you have any references other than your Mom?"

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

"All a cat CAN do is strive for authenticity."

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

Thinking with the left side of the brain/Thinking with what's left of your brain.

Help wanted. Various positions available.

'Cat job interviews.'