Interpreting Art T-Shirts

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"Well....I could've done this!"

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

Frederic Chopin

The Rise of Modern Art

"Caricatures $20"

"He's left out the staples"

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

Orator translates in many languages.

Sign on wall of spacious empty hall of museum: 'Air & Space Exhibit'

'The artist did this one during his 'I've got no idea' - period.'

Interpreter for the hard-to-believe-what-they're-hearing.

George Gershwin, Psychiatrist

When I was in jail, I passed the time by writing my autobiography. I took certain liberties with some of the characters. For instance, you appear in the later chapters

"Edwin says Cole Porter is overrated."

"I don't do spells. I'm a wizard at deciphering rap lyrics."

Percentage artwork

Liking a Painting

"He's not an enfant terrible, he's just terrible."

Interpretive Dental Hygiene

If Peter had only interpreted Jesus' words literally...

Art Gallery.

'Well, you're not Michaelangelo!'

"Poetry would be way more accessible if they just said what they meant."

'...if you look at it in the right way it begins to make sense.'

'I still don't get it.'

"Would you like me to get one our experts to tell you what you think of it."

'This painting makes no sense. Where are the directions?'

"I haven't seen their work before, I like their use of light!"

"If art was meant to be understood by the common man then the common man would have a degree in art appreciation."