Internet Irony Seeker Mugs

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

The Red Carpet

"Barry stop!. . . I'm you! I'm Barry from 2008. I'm using a time machine to stop you from making an awful mistake!"

'The NHS is committed to patients having control over their care...So if you'd like to check your symptoms online I'll be back later for a diagnosis and careplan.'

'My horoscope said I would be taking a long trip today.'

Eurydice in prison

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

"The average citizen doesn't have a clue - or why would we keep getting re-elected?"

"I thought this was the Vermeer tour."

'A late payment and a friendly reminder cross paths in the mail.'

'We need to panic until common sense returns.'

"I always said I'd sleep when I'm dead, and yet here I am doing paperwork."

"No internet connection"

Lost and found - 'Can you desribe it?' (Queen being asked having lost her crown).

"Beware of dog"

"Psst! If you have any stock tips to pass on, I can probably lighten your sentence for insider trading."

Local anaesthetic.

'I thought my people were happy, I know I was.

"Don't even start, Claire. You knew I was a snake when you took me in."

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

'I get to work early and all I get are the worms.'