Internet Irony Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'I don't think it's a good idea to put the fact that though you've been indicted seven times, but you've only been convicted twice on your 'About' page.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

End the Winter Blues

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

Tough Teddies

"I don't get it. I got a job at a fulfillment center and yet I'm still miserable!"

'Would it be cruelly ironic to shape our new cholesterol medication like little eggs?'

'The NHS is committed to patients having control over their care...So if you'd like to check your symptoms online I'll be back later for a diagnosis and careplan.'

"The following is a test of the fire-alarm system. It is only a test. Please ignore the intense heat and combustion."

"We could hire some sign-wavers to stand by the side of the road and advertise our product."

"Then I told him, 'Unions are powerless in this country... What can you do to me?'"

Washing Machine Torture

Welcome to Hell - No Smoking

'When they said a cruise with a 'balcony view' I didn't think they meant a view of the balcony.'

This isn't a good time to see him --- He just got outbid for a soul on eBay. Beelzebub.

'So anyways, I got a great deal on a candle factory from this total sucker and,,, hey, watcha reading'

"I'm an optimist. I'm convinced that everything is going to go to hell, but not for a while yet."

Easy Budget Terms Are Not That Easy.

"Well, that backfired."

"Why don't you take off early today? Don't forget to pack up your desk...."

'I want one that says 'get lost' but includes a pocket compass.'

'Sorry to disappoint you, your salary increase was a computer error'

Business acquaintances on holiday

"All brooms are useless. . .!!"

Sartre's E-Mail

Peacekeeping?

We have skule clothes.

Whoever said "Brevity is the soul of wit" must have not read many tweets!