Internet Fairy Tale Lover Pillows

'Dad, tell us again about growing up without a search engine.'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

The Fourth Little Pig

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

A Fairytale Update

The tooth fairy.

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

"Puss in cement boots"

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

“If I start pressing these, I’ll never ever ever get out of here.”

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

The Frog Prince

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'