Internet Criticism Gifts

Prisoner of technology.

Hate Platforms

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

Herman Mankiewicz

Reading my Critics

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"Will follow you on social media for food."

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

"About the vaccine, I read online that it was so Bill Gates could inject us with CHIPS!"

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

"I don't care what you read on your Facebook feed, the Covid vaccine will not turn you into a zombie flesh eaters."

Sculptor's chippings

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

Elon Musk Ditches Twitter Logo

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

Art Critics.

Bernard Levin

"Today on the ask Sadie show, we'll be addressing one single topic: 'Wolverine.' Specifically, we'll be talking about how most of you freaks who were obsessed with it for months are no longer talking about it. You people today have the attention span of a chimpanzee!!! That's an average of about 20 seconds, for those of you who still remember what I just said."

Trump Tells Greta to "Chill" Even Though The Earth Isn't

"Facebook VP — you'll be in Circle No. 4."

USA 2030

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

"Well, once you get your PhD on 'The Return of the Repressed in Early Jacobean Drama', then we;ll discuss how disappointed you are."

'You don't know how much it would mean to me if you could just jump.'

"What was the point of writing a blog that nobody else could read?"

'Typical phallic egocentrism!'

"Practicing my hate-face."