International Retiree Pillows

PERSONNEL, 'Our retirement plan is that we try to get you Swedish citizenship.'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Since being semi-retired everything I do is half-assed."

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

'When I was young, I said I'd make it big or know the reason why - Well, I sure know the reason why!'

Old snowboarder with a zimmerboard.

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

'I am not doing nothing ... I am perfecting inertia.'

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

"No more swinging from tree to tree! Now I take the bus and I even get a senior discount!"

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

"Death coach..."

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

“Typical, first we lost our winter fuel payment, and now our woolly jumpers!”

Best Scapegoat

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

'Somewhere along the way, I went from lambada to lumbago.'

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'