International Business Manager T-Shirts

"It lost a little something in translation."

'Email, fax, phone, text or courier?'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

The MBA Draft

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I need to see your budget proposal."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

Stock market investment advice

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?' 'The most you can give me!'

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

'And finally. . . where do you see yourself on the food chain 5 years from now?'

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

Counting part time employees is the new math.

'It's not surprising. The production department is in Spain, the warehouse is in Korea, the accounting division is in Bolivia, the board of directors is in Canada.'

'I'm sorry, Henderson - But profits are down and we have to make sacrifices.'

'Ask yourself, 'What is it I'm not doing?', and then ask yourself, 'What is it I'm doing too much?'.'

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

Now that I finally have an expense account, there's no time to eat.

"The old tricks, young fellow, have served me well."

'Nothing about the evils of corporate downsizing?'

"You calm down."