International Business Manager Mugs

"It lost a little something in translation."

'Email, fax, phone, text or courier?'

"Welcome aboard - oh, and the job has been moved to India, and you'll be paid in rice."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

The MBA Draft

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I need to see your budget proposal."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?' 'The most you can give me!'

Stock market investment advice

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

'And finally. . . where do you see yourself on the food chain 5 years from now?'

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

Counting part time employees is the new math.

'It's not surprising. The production department is in Spain, the warehouse is in Korea, the accounting division is in Bolivia, the board of directors is in Canada.'

'I'm sorry, Henderson - But profits are down and we have to make sacrifices.'

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'Ask yourself, 'What is it I'm not doing?', and then ask yourself, 'What is it I'm doing too much?'.'

"You calm down."