Interior Scent Enthusiast Pillows

'This plug-in air freshner is useless! It still stinks in here.'

Walking a dog on a treadmill.

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

Moving in

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

James decided to stay in that night.

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

"It's beautiful. I'm just not sure it's $800 beautiful."

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

"Yup, looks like your bookcase is full. You might want to start thinking about getting a new one."

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

Has socks and foot stools of every kind sale.

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

Staycation Photos

'This one's got a mahogany finish, easy to assemble and comes with a magical kingdom as standard.'

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

"That's still too high"

"I don't know what to do anymore! Our new carpet was really expensive but so was the dog!"

"I like it. Just trying to imagine how it would look in my yoga studio."

"That's the window, dear. The bookcase is over to your right."

'I don't like the painting either, but it is part of our corporate culture.'

Alien with flying spaceships on wall instead of flying ducks

"Quick mommy, call Sothebys."

'Ah! The great INDOORS!'

Recollections of a Retired Butler

"If you haven't got a TV, what do you point your furniture at?"

'At least you're not going to have to worry about your denture adhesive anymore.'