Interior Scent Enthusiast Pillows

'This plug-in air freshner is useless! It still stinks in here.'

Walking a dog on a treadmill.

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

Moving in

James decided to stay in that night.

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

"It's beautiful. I'm just not sure it's $800 beautiful."

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

"Yup, looks like your bookcase is full. You might want to start thinking about getting a new one."

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

'This one's got a mahogany finish, easy to assemble and comes with a magical kingdom as standard.'

Has socks and foot stools of every kind sale.

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

Staycation Photos

"That's still too high"

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

"I like it. Just trying to imagine how it would look in my yoga studio."

"I don't know what to do anymore! Our new carpet was really expensive but so was the dog!"

"That's the window, dear. The bookcase is over to your right."

'I don't like the painting either, but it is part of our corporate culture.'

Love Seats.

"Quick mommy, call Sothebys."

"Hal said he had big dreams...so he bought this bed."

"If you haven't got a TV, what do you point your furniture at?"

Alien with flying spaceships on wall instead of flying ducks

Recollections of a Retired Butler