Interior Decor Diva Pillows

'Be reasonable, dear - I'm sure Mrs West didn't mean to clash with your new curtains.'

'I didn't get to do any clothes shopping. It took me forever to pick out our new living room furniture.'

'Oh, do you mind taking your shoes off - New carpet and don't use the toilet - new and we're eating out- new kitchen...'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

"Home depot."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

Use your imagination.

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"You're welcome."

'Is there any chance at all I could get you to stop leaving your pantyhouse laying around?!'

"Too bright."

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

The Tectonics and Their Plates.

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

Framed Lady

"It's too late for Jim. The tchotchkes have him now."

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

Olly really didn't know his arse from his elbow.

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'