Interest Rate Explorer Pillows

'What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.'

'I'm the bank manager. I understand you want to close your account. If I authorize a bonus interest of 0.001% will you change your mind?'

'Which carries a more favorable interest rate, an auto loan or a home improvement loan? My mobile home needs a new transmission.'

Devil-may-care loans.

"We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate."

"Don't forget — it's good to give, but even better to get back."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

'We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate.'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'Are you good with decimals? Our certificate of deposit is currently paying 0.025%.'

'Of course we have to learn decimals. How else will we be able to compare bank interest rates.'

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

Making borrowing easier

Finance Co., Refinance Co.

'There's no interest on your purchase for a year. Then we become VERY interested in your balance after that.'

Safe under mattress.

Bank of England Base Rates.

The Crippled Euro

'My accounts aren't insured, but it's the risk I take for higher interest rates.'

Bank. I'm getting zero percent on my savings! We've reached the point of no return.

"According to my actuary tables, your loan will outlive you."

'Here's a hundred bucks -- now, you give me $101.37.'

"I'm here to pay off the last loan installment!"

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

Bankers waking up from cryo-sleep to explain the Fed's interest rate hike to you.

'I'd think that after a $800 billion bailout, you could do better than 1.2% for 11 months.'

"I don't know a damn thing about monetary policy,but I know what I like."

"If a higher interest rate is a sign of a stronger economy, you must think I'm golden."

$0.13 saved is $0.13 earned. A penny adjusted for inflation from 1737 to today...

"Your money was working for you, but it suddenly quit and now it's working for me!"

"Must you do that every time I say interest rates are bound to rise?"

"Great news! The Fed possibly confirmed that a possible rate hike is possibly possible!"

'What's your not-quite-so prime rate?'