Intel Guru T-Shirts

CIA - Time Temp Osama Bin Laden Sightings.

Jack of all trades

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"Any questions?"

"National security adviser"

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

'Here's MY information highway!'

Empty box of ideas

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Will work for ETFs

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Robots In The Boardroom

"Invest in technology."

The Shrinking Dollar.

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

The Modern Novel.

Geek fairies

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

A balloon seller is selling thought bubble balloons

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

The native sweet bay species will make a beautiful grove. They'll give you pleasure and increase your house value! Tree's tree nursery. Hmm

Dow Jones drop