Intel Guru T-Shirts

CIA - Time Temp Osama Bin Laden Sightings.

Jack of all trades

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"Any questions?"

'Here's MY information highway!'

"National security adviser"

Empty box of ideas

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Will work for ETFs

"Invest in technology."

The Shrinking Dollar.

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

Geek fairies

A balloon seller is selling thought bubble balloons

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

Dow Jones drop

'I'll be in late, Ms.Fernwood. Did I get any important margin calls, default, stock splits, foreclosures or bailouts?'