Integrity Advocates Pillows

Medals subject to drugs test results

Others will fight for you

"Since we're both being honest, I should tell you I have fleas."

"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

'I hate his kind. They use their integrity and hard work to advance their careers.'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

"At First Infidelity we're all about integrity...."

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

Bleh! What's up, little man? I can't figure out how to start my essay on integrity and honesty. Oh yeah. I once wrote one of those. Excellent. Can I use yours? Honestly?

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

Redacted Funnies: "Finally, the President blurted out what the country knew all along. . . . . . "

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

'We're able to cut back on legal fees by being more ethical.'

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anti-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

On the scale of 1-10, do you like it?

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

'I appeared to start selling more when I stopped appearing to sell.'

"We used to do business more transparently, but it was too disturbing."

Crisis of values

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help the Google?"

Man losing his honesty

'I'm NOT being a tattle-tale! -- I'm being a reliable source!'

'I used to be a major player around here until I was side-lined by an ethics injury.'

'It's best not to talk behind other people's back's, son. But if you must, the place to do it is in the media.'

Complete Intergrity - "Jeez, look at the tits on that broad!"

'Nothing like fear tactics to deter future leakers!'

"The candidates this year are really honest."

Closing Laugh Ministry of Info

"If it makes any difference, it's a remarkable piece of plagiarism."