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"We can't pull the plug. We're all still on her insurance."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

"Darling, do you remember where I put the insurance policies?"

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

'The surgery is expensive. We'll have to numb you from the wallet down.'

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

'You know, our health plan doesn't cover dental.'

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely

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"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

"I'm not here to take away your guns—I'm here to sell you some overpriced insurance."

Here's my dental insurance card. Sorry. Twig had a visit within the last 6 months. This one's not covered. That was a check-up. This is an emergency. How about Twig's chipped tooth? Your policy doesn't cover cosmetic problems. Now I get it! My insurance is cosmetic. Have a nice day!

'Your coverages suggest it will spread rapidly to your wallet.'

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

Medicare: More is Better!

Insurance company agreeing workers' compensation policy in a demolition company.

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

'What do I do now? -- the company I buy my malpractice insurance from is being sued for malpractice!'

You're right, Mr. Fusco. Your health insurance does cover pre-existing conditions. So, honestly, how long have you been a wolverine?

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"At this point we're no longer testing you. We're testing your insurance."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"With this policy, at the age of 12, he receives 10 marrow bones a month."