Insurance Aficionados Pillows

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

'Do you want Gap Insurance?'

"Quality of life insurance protects you and your family in the event of the death of your life style."

I'd like to renew my life insurance policy. - 'Nope... no children. Nope... still single.' - 'Well, yes. I guess I can look forward to a 'kick ass' funeral in that case...' -

'I pay very small life insurance premiums - but there are some drawbacks!'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"Just phone Mr.Fry and tell him the claim's been rejectedbecause the damage was deemed an 'Act of God'."

"...and these are my children, Risk and Benefit."

Goldfish Insurance: " We must insure against a deluge of BIBLICAL proportions. . ."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

'You know, our health plan doesn't cover dental.'

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"

"I'm not here to take away your guns—I'm here to sell you some overpriced insurance."

Reducing Health care costs with health and fitness programs

'Your coverages suggest it will spread rapidly to your wallet.'

Medicare: More is Better!

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

"I'm a little disappointed that we didn't get any human specimens, but I think our leaders will be quite pleased with the snow globe and the commemorative spoon."

'Last cruise I ever take! Stuck with the same people for three weeks...'

Frenchman Speaking to Englishman

"With this policy, at the age of 12, he receives 10 marrow bones a month."