Insurance Policy Guru Pillows

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

'In sickness and in health, under affordable health care or unaffordable. . .'

Political Issues

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

'The surgery is expensive. We'll have to numb you from the wallet down.'

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

'My problem is that I am an informed citizen.'

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

Osborne's Tax Cuts

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely

Reducing Health care costs with health and fitness programs

"I'm not here to take away your guns—I'm here to sell you some overpriced insurance."

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

"We used to do business more transparently, but it was too disturbing."

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

'Your coverages suggest it will spread rapidly to your wallet.'

Caution: Crumbling Economies

Two steps backwards-one step forward.

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

'What do I do now? -- the company I buy my malpractice insurance from is being sued for malpractice!'

Doctor to man: 'You'll need to empty your pockets. For symbolic purposes, let's start with your wallet.'

"At this point we're no longer testing you. We're testing your insurance."

Knight Supplies

'I'm can't tell if this card from our insurance company is optimistic encouragement or a threat!'

"With this policy, at the age of 12, he receives 10 marrow bones a month."