Insurance Policy Examiner Pillows

Playing doctor: 'This time I get to play the HMO bureaucrat who decides if you live or die.'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

Lion Tamers School - Lion licking his lips examiner marking a fail

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

"Your insurance just called. They don't cover 'having a bad day.'"

'Thank you for not guessing.'

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

Examiners.

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

"Office of quality assurance"

"These insurance papers you gave us are for an '86 Buick."

'He's a real stickler for punctuality. He got really annoyed when I was late for an appointment, next week.'

Lambs to the Slaughter

"I pride myself on being able to walk that fine line between misdemeanor and felony."

Patent Office: ". . . It's a phoneless cord."

"Here's my wallet, my phone, the key to the safe and an application form for your so-called 'mind control device.'"

"Smart Arse"

"Some people say you can't put a price on a wife's twenty-seven years of loyalty and devotion. They're wrong."

'Quit if you want, Bowman, but the intellectual property stays here.'

'Yes,I do have a question.. What kind of dental plan do you have?'

'I knew it! Important Exclusion 347, 'Plummeting Pachyderms'. . .'

"According to the insurance company, you don't have a leg to stand on."

'Your two o'clock cheeseseeking missle is here.'

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

"Well, certainly his claim seems justified , but if we paid off every justified claim what kind of insurance company would we be?"

'...no you can't phone a friend!'

'Just as I thought...you can't collect on the life insurance by boring me to death.'

"I'm prepared to cover any out-of-pocket costs, Dr. Williter."

"You know how I feel about sampling!"

'He's just failed my husband. Bring the examiner out here immediately!'

'How can I put this....?'

"His blood work doesn’t look half as bad as his HMO."