Insurance Intellect Pillows

Equality in sexes leads to increase in insurance costs.

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

Obama Healthcare.

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

Downloads.

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

Thinking with the left side of the brain/Thinking with what's left of your brain.

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

Healthy Patients Only

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

'Make a patriotic decision. Do you want your son to live in a public health insurance tyranny or do you want to let him die as a free American who doesn't have the money to pay for medical treatment?'

Single Prayer Health Insurance

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."