Insurance Adjusters Pillows

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"I need a holiday that guarantees perfect weather, good beaches and romance!"

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

Obama Healthcare.

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

"As a rookie, I'm finding one of the hardest things to get used to is older people calling me 'sir.'"

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

"We don't offer a health-care plan. Instead, we have Lou persuade you not to get sick."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

We can't call the doctor, we can't call the nurse, we have to call the lady with the alligator purse.

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Single Prayer Health Insurance

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"Remember, Mr. Jones, whatever doesn't kill you makes your health insurance premiums go up."

'Make a patriotic decision. Do you want your son to live in a public health insurance tyranny or do you want to let him die as a free American who doesn't have the money to pay for medical treatment?'

"Your insurance just called. They don't cover 'having a bad day.'"

"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."

"Sire, they also want dental."

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.