Instruction Pillows

"Don't cry this time, it is off putting."

A Puppet Named Juan

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Hate Platforms

Ethics exam cheater.

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Computer Room.

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

Big Bang Theory.

Fear/Knowledge

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'Hmph. College kids.'

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

Reach for the Star.