Inspection Anxiety Survivor Gifts

'Is it a BIRD?...Is it a PLANE?...No it's another in depth inspection from the Quality Care Commission.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

Evil Exams!

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

Beware of Everything

"You may have heard some very slanderous rumours about this company."

Weather reporter feels guilty every time it rains.

"I thought he would run all sorts of scientific tests."

"References? Well, I just got six references from the guys in your waiting room."

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

Virtual interview.

'Besides a great smile, do you have any other qualifications we could consider?'

"He hates his six-monthly visits."

'We don't want to interfere to much, just a couple of things...what you do and how you do it!'

"I love your enthusiasm but we were actually looking for someone who could do the job."

'The food inspector, Sir!'

"She says she's from Quality Control. We've failed the furniture inspection."

"Sure, playing hot potato is fun until someone pokes an eye out!"

"Where do you see yourself in 5 to 10 years?"

"I'm sorry sir, we are now closed."

Number two pencil, pretending to be a number one, fears that his deception has been uncovered.

Border Guard

Pole Dancing Every Night: 'It's one of the perks of being a weights and measures inspector.'

"We want someone who can lead in a crisis, but doesn't."

"I suppose my one weakness is I'm far too forthright, Tubby."

'Why did you leave your last job?' 'The parole board finally came through.'

"Where do you see yourself, say, five recessions from now?"

"Saaay, aren't you the I.R.S. guy who audited me last week?"

Interviewing for a new Servant

"The ice at the rink isn't smooth. I think the maintenance team slipped up."

'Dad, the kid who lives here has broken your hammer with his head.'

'We're looking for a candidate who is good at handling unexpected situations!'

'Don't forget - keep the potassium chloride in a separate container.'

'I do not change the building codes every week. I do it every other week.'