Insect Watching Pillows

'If the opposite sex insisted on devouring YOUR head and laying thousands of eggs in YOUR carcass, then perhaps celibacy wouldn't seem like such an unreasonable lifestyle option!'

"This reminds me of that time I said it was too humid and buggy to go on this hike."

I don't mind one fly doing the backstroke in my soup, but six of them playing "Marco Polo" is just ridiculous.

'Eat your heart out, Firefly! -- I've got sneakers that light up!'

"I see balloons, food and drinks. Not only are there ants in our keyboard, they seem to be having a party."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

A Symphony of Penguins

Polly txt speak

Grace For Flies

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

Life is for the birds.

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"Do me next."

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

Intelligent people laugh too!

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."