Innocent Questioner Prints

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

Child protects planet with umbrella.

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

Do Guns Kill?

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

'I know he followed you home but you can't keep him.'

Ostrich Curoisities

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

'Wanna see my tadpole collection?'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

"After spending thirty years creating models of early universe formation, I began to suspect that my work didn't make a shred of difference."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

Army Leader: 'We have ways of making you Torque.'

Lost and Profound.

"Last chance, or Max here has ways of making you talk."

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

"We'll get what we need from you. Guaranteed!" "Officer Madoff, the best stool softener on the force."

'I'm just saying... Maybe we're over doing the old 'good cop, bad cop' routine.'

'We can't determine if you're telling the truth, but you should have a doctor check your pressure.'

Religion, This End Up

'... And then Goldsmith here, said to him: 'Never mind, if you're innocent you have nothing to worry about'.'

He Loves me... He loves me not... He loves me... Hey, this flower is missing a petal!

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

God hounded by the media.

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

"I can only give you name rank and the number of my agent..."

Thought of the sentient protoplasm sack