Inner Critic Enthusiast Pillows

"The kids at school were fine - I just keep taunting myself about never producing a great body of work."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Filling the Missile Gap

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

An acceptable level of TV violence.

The Real Russian history

"Well...I notice a little criticism on my leadership style..."

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

Rodin's Irish Judge

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

"I loved your embarrassing personal essay in the 'Times.' "

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

The End is Near art gallery opening.

Nutty Assistants

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

'Your hair is messy,stand up straight. You look unkempt.'

Editor

The Doomed Character

"If art was meant to be understood by the common man then the common man would have a degree in art appreciation."

"Do you mind if I give you feedback?"

'Your trouble is that you don't appreciate good food.'

Art is a cruel mistress.

Ezra Pound

"An interesting selection, Dad, yet essentially a failure-as you can see, I'm still awake."

Fake Diplomas

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

'I really don't see the point?'

"Your earlier work was better."