Inner Critic Enthusiast Prints

"The kids at school were fine - I just keep taunting myself about never producing a great body of work."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Movies vs. Films

Filling the Missile Gap

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

An acceptable level of TV violence.

Seamus Heaney

The Real Russian history

"Well...I notice a little criticism on my leadership style..."

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

"I loved your embarrassing personal essay in the 'Times.' "

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

Rodin's Irish Judge

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

The End is Near art gallery opening.

Nutty Assistants

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

'Your hair is messy,stand up straight. You look unkempt.'

The Doomed Character

"Do you mind if I give you feedback?"

New Jersey Cops Gone Wild

Editor

"If art was meant to be understood by the common man then the common man would have a degree in art appreciation."

'Your trouble is that you don't appreciate good food.'

Ezra Pound

Art is a cruel mistress.

If you want to get big as a radio host, you've got to differentiate yourself from all the other mean, insulting critics. I have a plan. You need to start being nice. That way, you'll really surprise people when you turn on them. That's the stupidest @#$% Idea I've ever heard, you muscle-bound ape! It needs work. Damn. What if I retract the muscle-bound part?

"An interesting selection, Dad, yet essentially a failure-as you can see, I'm still awake."

Fake Diplomas

'I really don't see the point?'

"Ugh... Jerry Saltz is totally junking up my feed again."

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

"Your earlier work was better."