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Writer

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

First Novels.

"She's been so creative lately."

Edgar Allen Poe

"Do me next."

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

Backfire

Cut Price

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Someone who knows apostrophes

Why we need poetry. . .

What's normal?

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

Where Indian ink came from.

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.