Injury-prone Adventurers Pillows

'I like your spirit - nine out of ten people would admit roller-disco wasn't for them!'

First aid in mountains

The lame cowboy with spurs on his crutches.

"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

"Damn it, name a figure, name a figure."

First aid departments

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

'I know just how you feel.'

"...Bug bites, barbecue and lawn mower...and you?"

'WRONG PIN NUMBER!'

'While I'm here, Doctor . . .'

'Quick! Contact my doctor!'

"If it's any consolation, the video went viral."

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

A large lady is exploring the jungle as two cougars watch on - 'Remember what the doctor said Ralph... regular exercise and no fatty foods!'

'I'd like to play, but I'm afraid it might void my warranty.'

'Are you a hypochondriac who has everything but your regular placebo isn't doing the job? Talk to your doctor about the new extra-strength placebo.'

Would it hurt to blow my top once a week?

"Arrr! This X marks the buried treature and this X marks a safe social distance!"

"I sprained it trying to open my medicine."

"If your instincts tell you to go out in a shark infested ocean then go. My instincts are sending me to a nice little aquarium out in the suburbs."

Mutant Mootunes - Pete Poodle Pants

Just Do It. Just Did It.

'No broken bones. You're lucky, looks like the tree helped break your fall.'

I've got sharp pains in my ribs after playing sports.... - 'It's porbably muscular... just take pain killers.' - 'Could it be a cracked rib though?' - 'Possibly.' - 'What would I do if it was a cracked rib?' - 'Take more painkillers.' -

You're in luck! I'm the doctor who'll be patching you up after the match.

'It has my horoscope, heart rate and cholesterol level...but I'm sorry, I don't have the time.'

"I mistakenly stood in the doorway when kids sunday school released."

Mulligan's first mulligan.

"I raced a train to the level crossing. It was a tie."

'Tell me you feel bad about it. The least you can do is feel bad about it.'

Water Ski Accident

Safe Sunbathing: 'And you're sure there's no risk at all?'

Exporting - Highs and Lows