High-risk Adventurer Pillows

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

First aid in mountains

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

'What a time to return from climbing! There's not way your coming into this house tonight.'

"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

100k Desert Crawl

"Damn it, name a figure, name a figure."

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

First aid departments

'I think we went too far off the road, Hank.'

'I know just how you feel.'

'Quick! Contact my doctor!'

'While I'm here, Doctor . . .'

"If it's any consolation, the video went viral."

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

'WRONG PIN NUMBER!'

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

'I like your spirit - nine out of ten people would admit roller-disco wasn't for them!'

Fishing traps.

"If your instincts tell you to go out in a shark infested ocean then go. My instincts are sending me to a nice little aquarium out in the suburbs."

'No broken bones. You're lucky, looks like the tree helped break your fall.'

Yacht Club: Valet Parking $25,000.

'Just swimming with them is a bit naff nowadays.'

"The new position not only comes with a bump in salary, but allows me to extend my reach into areas where I'm not qualified."

Construction Zone: $1,000 Fine For Speech Climbing.

The First Waterski

"I mistakenly stood in the doorway when kids sunday school released."

Water Ski Accident

"Look! Another non regulated bank!"

Mountaineers milk.

Mulligan's first mulligan.

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 5.

Exporting - Highs and Lows

'Sidney's such a klutz. He broke his leg in three places -- Boston, Akron and Salt Lake City.'