Inheritance Manager Pillows

'...and to our children we leave our holiday snaps.'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The day the stock market went UP.

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

Stock market investment advice

Flat tax - equal burden?

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

'Forget what?'

'I just love this new reality show, TRADING BANK ACCOUNTS!'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'I'll be in late, Ms.Fernwood. Did I get any important margin calls, default, stock splits, foreclosures or bailouts?'

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

wealth investment

The symbol for the euro (?) depicted as the wheel of a wheelchair, symbolising the state of the currency

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'