Inheritance Manager Pillows

'...and to our children we leave our holiday snaps.'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The day the stock market went UP.

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

Stock market investment advice

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

Flat tax - equal burden?

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

'Forget what?'

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

'I'll be in late, Ms.Fernwood. Did I get any important margin calls, default, stock splits, foreclosures or bailouts?'

'I just love this new reality show, TRADING BANK ACCOUNTS!'

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

wealth investment

The symbol for the euro (?) depicted as the wheel of a wheelchair, symbolising the state of the currency